"But the camera is only 2 MP!"

Posted on April 20, 2010 by Priya Tuli

Filed under tech-no! | 0 Comments

I finally got that new phone. It was quite a production, I can tell you. Almost as bad as I had expected. To start with, there was the superior attitude and open incredulity of the young sales staffers to contend with. I asked for their simplest model, no bells and whistles.

I said, "No camera, no internet, no nothing. Just the phone." They laughed outright, the whippersnappers.

They then conferred amongst themselves at length, giggled some more (even the boys), and finally showed me something so dated and butt-ugly that even I wouldn't use it. It was a model my friend's 5 year old daughter had around 10 years ago, in lurid pink. Shudder.

While they rooted around looking for something suitable, I wandered around the store, ogling at all the latest models and getting utterly seduced by them. I had several moments of extreme indecision when I nearly gave in to the siren call of the newest and sexiest. Man, these phones were so I-want making! But I talked myself out of every smartphone in the place. Dazzled, sure. But I'm never going to read an email on my phone, or browse the net; that only makes sense for people who are on the road and away from their computers for large chunks of their day. I'm generally never more than one room away from mine, we're joined at the hip. So why would I pay a premium for specs that are totally redundant in my context? And anyway, reading documents on that tiny screen would give me vertigo. Or hives. Or chikungunya. Or all five. And anyway, I'd rather get a netbook.

But oh my, the slide thing was so neat! And they even had an iPhone lookalike that I really liked... ahh! Decisions! But no, I wasn't giving in to technolust. No way Jose.

Those sales kids don't give up easy, though. When they'd see my eyes gleam at some fancy model or other, they'd draw closer and rattle off a string of entirely incomprehensible specs, till I'd glaze over. Even then they wouldn't quit. I think they just got their jollies watching my reactions and waiting to hear me squawk every time they demonstrated yet another incomprehensible and totally unnecessary feature.

Finally, after the fifth time of telling them I did NOT want 3G or a 7 MP camera, they heard me. And showed me the 2700 classic. I liked it. Simple, or so I mistakenly thought at the time. Larger screen than my old one. Better colours and resolution and sleeker looking. And only a year old, as models go.  But of course, not a patch on the BB or...sigh...the iPhone. "But the camera is only 2 MP", the salesboy said. No big deal, I said, I'm never going to use it. He seemed unconvinced, and rather deflated that his 2-hour sales pitch had failed so miserably.

The whole process, start to finish, took me four hours of vacillation. Then came the tough part, transferring my numbers. The old phone didn't have a cable that could plug into the new phone to retrieve them. So they tried to do it through the computer, and lost half my numbers in the process, before they eventually told me it wasn't possible. I was therefore faced with the prospect of transferring the remaining numbers manually, and am still faced with it 2 months later.

As a result, I now carry around 3 phones; my old Nokia, my new Nokia and my CDMA Nokia, for calls to India. All of them so last-century that I'll never make it into the 'hip' crowd with perma-bent thumbs, forever hooked into Blackberry-texting-position.

So we get home, and I fondle the new phone and affectionately name it Affandi. I then try putting in a few more numbers; I give up after about 10, it's just too painful. So if you never hear from me ever again, you'll know why. Also, this model works differently from my old one, so a bit of cussing ensued. Particularly as it would take me to something called Life Tools, even though I didn't want to go there. More cussing. Of course, I dropped the brand new phone three times on the very first day, I kid you not. So it has a pretty good idea of the sort of abuse it will be subjected to through this current avatar. Better to be up front about these things, I always say.

Anyway, I now have some of my numbers in the old phone, some in Affandi and who knows what on the CDMA. The rest went into the black hole that swallows up random numbers that are precariously living life on the edge, balanced between being transferred from one phone to another. Phone number limbo. So now, every time I need to make a call, I try guessing which phone the number is on. I am invariably wrong. In the end, I just give up the idea of calling altogether. Which sort of defeats the purpose of buying the phone in the first place.

Then I need to remember to charge all three, as one or other of them will start beeping incessantly from low-battery syndrome. And all three have their own charger, of course. Rare is the day when I step out of the house with the right phone and the right charger. Ah, well. The joys of connectivity.

Oh, and about the camera? I finally figured how to activate it. I've taken 3 pictures with it so far, and they were right. 2 MP is no fun at all, just very fuzzy and pixellated. So hey, how about this: if I buy you a beer or five, would you transfer my numbers into the new phone for me? Pretty please? And I'll throw in my old CDMA as part of the deal. What? You don't want it?! Harrumph!


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