*&^%$##$%^&#@

Posted on January 05, 2010 by Priya Tuli

Filed under General | 5 Comments

The trouble with 'evolving' and 'personal growth' stuff is that sometimes it feels like you're taking one step forward and 10 steps back. I like to believe I'm a better person than I was, say a year or five ago. And then I regress, and end up feeling like a long, sad, multi-segmented earthworm for days after.

The other night, I got into Plate Smashing mode. No idea why. It could have been the full moon. Or the frustration of not being able to get my desk and workspace cleared. Or the fact that the cats had been scrapping all day. Or that I spilled a whole carton of tomato juice in the fridge and all across the kitchen floor, and stubbed my toe three times in succession. And I still had a heap of work to get through before I hit the sack for the night. You know, one of those days.

Or it could be that I'm still just a bad-tempered, grumpy sort, and leopards never change their spots. I've noticed I get grumpier when I have to do anything at all in the kitchen. Which is convenient, because that's where the plates are.

So anyway, when the juice spill happened, that was the last straw. I picked up the closest thing to hand, which happened to be a fork. I aimed it at the sink, where the dinner dishes awaited washing. And I hurled it at a plate, which was propped up like a dartboard at the back of the sink.

My aim has never been much good, but would you believe, I hit a bullseye. I think the Great Big Pie in the Sky figured I'd better have one win to close the day on, or more vile invective would flow. So the plate, being melamine, obligingly broke, but not completely. There was a jagged three-inch hole where the fork missile had hit, leaving the rest of the plate intact. Ahhh, it felt GOOD to have done that!

I finished up in the kitchen, retrieved the broken plate which I intend to hang on a prominent wall as a trophy, and slunk off to finish up my work, feeling a bit silly. What a goofy thing to do. It hadn't solved anything, and now I'd have to deal with the aftermath of having slipped backwards on my path to greater enlightenment.

The good thing is that I no longer give myself a hard time for too long after any such digression. So, I got mad. So, I swore and cussed in true sailor fashion for five whole minutes. So what? Far better to let it all out that carry it within, like a tight angry knot curled up in your belly, and then get passive-aggressive with the people around you.

Moral of the story: I learned that progress is happening even when you think it isn't, and getting rid of the anger and irritation by venting safely is a good way to get back on an even keel. My recovery time is much shorter now. I timed it. Took me half an hour to get over the plate, another half hour to get over how stupid it was to smash the plate, and I was cleansed. I even laughed, because I haven't smashed a plate in years. Thank goodness it wasn't one of the good ones. Except just don't show me a carton of tomato juice for a few days, please.



Comments:

plate smashing mode...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Jvp-YiP530</p>

i know it will sound greek to you, but after 3:00 words are no longer necessary...

Posted by Elefteria on January 05, 2010 at 04:13 AM WIT #

Priya, my dear friend... This morning I spent 20 minutes trying to open my car doors. When I finally succeded and was looking forward to deicing my windshield, I managed to block the steering wheel so I didn't have to deice the windshields anymore...
There I was on the bus station accross the street of my frozen car, already 30 minutes late on my first day of work on 2010. I took the bus. When I came back from work, I took three buses to get home. Bought ten bus tickets in the process, and one book I was looking forward to have in my bookcase again. Got home, cooked a wonderful soup and then, almost ten hours after my initial shock and anger at the idea that I cannot start the car, I managed to unblock the steering wheel.

Posted by Ada on January 05, 2010 at 04:27 AM WIT #

So I spent my whole day telling myself that no, this is not a bad beginning, there is something to learn here. Or something that has to happen. What I was trying to say is that there is a purpose in everything. I don't know what was the tomato juice spill's purpose but my ordeal made me fall in love with my old car again and really appreciate it. But Smashing Plates uhm... i'll keep that in mind:) All the best for 2010 Priya!

Posted by Ada on January 05, 2010 at 04:28 AM WIT #

Haha Ele, tks! Too bad I didn't understand the...Greek, y'know ;-) I'd do it one plate at a time, tho'!

Posted by Priya Tuli on January 05, 2010 at 10:04 PM WIT #

Ada :-))) Here's to a magical 2010! Loved your car story, and yes, I know there was a lesson in the spilled juice; it was an allegory for bloodshed averted, for I was surely homicidal by that time!

Like you, I too believe that there's always a reason or a lesson and it's up to us to figure it out, sometimes immediately, sometimes not until years later, and sometimes not at all. And that's okay, too!

As for the Plate Smashing, very therapeutic. I can vouch for that. Evoution must be happening, because today, just thinking about it is good enough, I don't have to go smash another one ;-) HuGGGz, P

Posted by Priya Tuli on January 05, 2010 at 10:12 PM WIT #

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